This morning I was in a bit of a funk. A question kept swirling around my brain like flies on cow patties: What if I’m the only one who reads what I write? Then clearly, I should quit and start doing something useful with my time. There are so many things I could improve such as:
A. Learn how to properly cook and bake. I tried to make gobs once. For those of you who aren’t from western Pennsylvania, gobs are small cakes (usually chocolate but I’ve also had pumpkin, banana nut bread, and a bunch of other flavors) with icing on the inside. The gob recipe that I was following called for ¾ cup of cocoa but I couldn’t seem to find cocoa at the store. Instead of asking for assistance, I grabbed a container of Swiss Miss, because that’s cocoa, right? Wrong. My chocolate gob cakes tasted like watered down spice cake. And they didn’t rise properly. (Come to think of it, they kind of resembled cow patties).
B. Learn a new skill by working a part time job. For most of my life I’ve worked multiple jobs. Problem is, I tend to spend a significant amount of money from that part time job at the part time job. I worked two years at a winery and now I’m stuck with a ton of wine gone bad. (Sadly, Virginia wine doesn’t last for years and years- even keeping them in a cool basement didn’t work. If I do learn how to cook, perhaps I could utilize the bad wine in my dishes). In college I worked at Bath and Body Works and I still have shoe boxes full of old body sprays that are now expensive air fresheners.
C. Learn how to sit still. I’m the poster adult for ADHD. I have to use a kitchen timer in order to keep my butt glued to my desk chair (my blue owl timer is my new best friend). I’ve tried meditation but one of two things happen; I either fall asleep while sitting up or my mind races with all of the things I could be doing instead of sitting Indian style in the dark.
But do I honestly want to do any of these things? If I did, then why am I sitting here writing? If I’m the only one who reads what I write am I really going to stop? No, that would be ridiculous because most of the time I’m happiest when I’m writing. If no one reads any of my book reviews, does that mean I should stop reading? Umm, no. So I’ll continue churning out blog posts and short stories, and eventually my novel JADED will be published. And hopefully, somewhere down the road, you’ll read something that I’ve written. And believe me, it can’t be worse than my cooking!
Remember: “There is no agony like having an untold story inside you.” –Zora Neale Hurston
The gob recipe that I attempted to follow: